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Today's Featured Biography
Elisabeth Stoner Johnson
Hey, Class of 66, didja miss me? Deceased? Things are kinda slow, but deceased? No. But I never amounted to much. Gene Johnson, however, was a USAF Missile Officer, THE world’s foremost falcon hood maker (no really, he has produced hoods for kings, princes, and a few Kennedys), is an accomplished wildlife artist, and is an actor and western re-enactor as Col. William F. ‘Buffalo Bill’ Cody. Who’da thunk it? He’s been published in some of the world’s leading falconry manuals (the best, North American Falconry and Hunting Hawks – Eighth Edition, which I, Roseanne Roseanna Danna, edited personally-no really.) We’ve been married since 1967- a rocky ride, sometimes. After Ohio State, we moved to Kansas, back to Kent State U in Ohio, Nebraska, and finally in Colorado. We just love it. Gene hunts big game with black powder and bow and is an angler and fly-fisherman, while I tag along and complain that there aren’t any bass up here, just trout, lots of trout.
But more about me. But it’s been a blast. My coolest job was as the executive secretary for a digital mapping company which went public, and promptly failed in disgrace from NASDAQ for cooking the books—pure greed. It was downhill after that—I even got fired from Home Depot!!! What a sucky place. Co-workers would sooner stab you in the back as look at you. Imagine refusing to train a 60-year old woman on the forklift so that she had to load 58-pound blocks on pallets by hand in the hot sun! That was rock-bottom. But wait!—it gets worse.
As for a current photo—not on your life. Remember our 8th grade English teacher, Vivian Justice? And our Latin teacher, Dorothy Schnier? I look like their child, only not as attractive. (Shut up, Sutherland.) If I could do it over, I would have appreciated our music more. I knew it was good, but I took it for granted. I thought it would ALWAYS be good Not like today’s junk. (I sound just like our parents!) And the CARS we drove…. Girls soaked their mohair sweaters in Ambush and Shalimar, and guys showered with Jade East and Hai Karate. We lived in the golden age between the beatniks and the hippies. I wouldn’t have worried so much about my grades. I didn’t know then that nobody gives a rip about that D in Algebra. Fretting over being popular was another huge angst, although I experienced a brief pseudo-popularity as a jock’s girlfriend. Same problems—different people. I do wish my parents had just admitted that we didn’t have the money. I could have understood THAT, instead of, “Nobody needs two pairs of shoes. Your green Keds should last you all year.” (sigh) Wow, this is so liberating.
I hesitated to touch base with you all until I MADE GOOD. Well, THAT’s not gonna happen. But I am somebody, and so are you. I’d really like to know how life worked out for the rest of my class, especially if you’re in prison. Wouldn’t you like some mail? Stop being “Missing” in the class list, or somebody will report you as Deceased. If I can bare all, so can you. One last thing: My pet peeves are people who say ‘nucular’ instead of ‘nuclear’, and those who say ‘srimp’ instead of ‘shrimp’ and ‘Mr. Smidt’ instead of ‘Mr. Schmidt’, because they think the ‘h’ sounds too German. Morons. And say what you will about our education—at least we knew where France is. Most of us, anyway.
Gotta go now—getting ready for the End of the World on 12/21/12. I plan to capture it all on DVD, and then make a fortune on eBay. I’m sure I thought of it first, so don’t even THINK about trying it. Well, I’ll be seeing you in that Great Study Hall in the Sky, where we’ll be trying to argue ourselves out of Permanent Detention. (PS—the following truly are Deceased: Bob Branham, Jennifer Haas, Rod Hodge, Jessie Jones)
UPDATE--UPDATE--UPDATE-SERIOUSLY NOW....Growing up in Northridge during the Fifties grounded us in the American ethic, based on God and the Constitution, and I am so, so grateful for that. Now we have reached the crisis that our parents (who survived the Great Depression and WWII) always warned us about. We are a heartbeat away from losing everything guaranteed by the Bill of Rights that were fought, bled, and died for. Especially the 2nd Amendment..."a well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED." I couldn't give up my rights if I wanted to. I am ENDOWED, and so are you.
4/29/2014 -Damn! I am a good writer. I so impress myself.
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