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Today's Featured Biography
David Umbarger
This is a tale of a dude named Dave, formally from Edmond, OK, now from Binger, OK (ever heard of Johnny Bench?). Dave's little universe really began in 1996 when he met April for the first time. That little meeting took place in the Wal-mart pharmacy, not the new colossal Wal-mart, but the original one on 33rd and Broadway. Of course all props go to April’s sissy, Zan, who just happened to work at this pharmacy along with Dave. And then there were the Blazers, O’brians (don't mind the poor spelling), and Denny’s. Dave ditched his best friend (Wray Delno) to ride along with April and her crew. Now the rest of the tale of that night is to be left forever preserved in the private memories of April and Dave.
So now we fast forward to 2000 and June 13th in Las Vegas, Nevada. What a week that was. The Hoover Damn, green convertible Mustang, Caesar's Palace, The Little Chapel of Love, and one very bizarre “minister”. Of course all the usual players were there, Zan, Wray and Cynthia, Dave’s mom and sister, and April’s mom and dad. If you ask Dave and April, nothing makes a wedding more meaningful than family, friends, lemon drops, and a minister with Michael Landon hair.
Now we move ahead to 2002. The not so newlyweds were living in Galveston, Texas, April and Dave refer to these as the years they lived in toilet bowl, USA. May 29, 2002, in John Sealy Hospital at UTMB on Galveston Island, TX, Bronsen Dane Umbarger made his triumphant entrance into the world. The kid was huge. Again all the usual players were there, April’s mom and dad, Zan, Dave’s mom and dad, and of course Dave. If you ask Dave and April, nothing makes for a more memorable delivery than Galveston, UTMB, a Jamaican nurse, an Indian doctor, 20 sets of eyeballs, really smelly feet, and one heck of a perfectly timed episode of the Simpsons. Big props to Paul, Sharon, and Zan for getting to Galveston from Binger in plenty of time for the delivery.
Next we arrive to 2006, April 28th to be exact. This is when Dru first enters the scene. Funny thing is, not much to talk about with this delivery. It was planned ahead of time, the date was set, and things went smooth. Our doctor was perfect, as were all the staff. So props to Lake Side Woman’s Hospital!
Bronsen is 5 years old. The boy is huge, and he loves vanilla ice cream. His next thing to conquer will be kindergarten (he already has them all right where he wants them). God help his teachers. Bronsen’s bff is a boy named Hagan. These two are the closest thing to brothers short of actually being brothers. “B’ as he is know by many, loves his little sister, granny and pappa, mommy and daddy, and the Family Guy. His favorite color is orange, and he is a BIG OSU fan. Dancing and piano playing, if that is what you call it when you bang on the piano, are among his favorite things to do. The kid loves tball, and he is a 2 year veteran of the sport. He has been know to spend his summers playing miniature golf in Branson, MO, and lounging in his Aunt Zan’s pool. He loves Best Buy, McDonald’s, Fire Mountain, and the Apple Store, but he hates Wal-mart. His goal in life is to grow up and be a police (pronounced poe - lease) officer in Binger, OK. And of course the other officer will be Hagan. One thing is for sure, parents prouder that April and Dave, can not be found!
Davin Ri Umbarger, they call her DRU, is 20 months old now. Daddy calls her Droopy. She like her brother, huge! The girl was walking before she was one. Dru loves her mamma and granny, and she has some sort of special power over her daddy and her pappa. It is amazing that she can walk, because her feet rarely touch the ground. She is spoiled, and she has them all right where she wants them. Her bubba, better get the heck out of her way, or she will just bowl him over. Oh, she is mean. Really really mean. What a wonderful girl. To know her is to love her, it just can’t be stopped. It didn’t take long for her to win her daddy over! She is strong, smart, and fearless. The universe better watch out, because she is coming, and she is bringin’ IT!!
Now for the star of the show, the center of the Umbarger universe, the place where it all began. April Dawn, born in Binger, Oklahoma, you know the home of Johnny Bench. She is blonde and she is beautiful. April is a Speech-Language Pathologist. She earned her Master’s degree in 2000 from the University of Central Oklahoma. This girl is a Bobcat through and through, but nothing can ever take the place of her beloved Cowboys. When not donning her Bobcat flair, she proudly displays her orange and black. Those players sure look good in their “suits”. During the week she spends most of her time taking care of her kids, she has three, Dru, Brosnen, and Dave. Actually she spends most of her weekend doing the same. She likes Chardonnay, medium steaks, diet soda, iced tea, Big Brother, As the World Turns, Paula Dean, Oprah, and her hero just happens to be H from CSI Miami. Who doesn’t like that guy, such dramatic precision in his witty one-liners. Whatever you do, don’t ask her about her 80’s and 90’s big hair and even bigger glasses. Not much else to say about “Teeny” other than a person could travel the world and never find a finer woman, mother, wife, or friend.
Well, what is there to say about Dave. Not much really. He started college in 1991, he was finally given a Bachelors in 2000, and then earned a Masters in 2004. Dave really likes toys, and not the kind you get with a happy meal. Those kind of toys that force you to place a second and third mortgage on the house to buy. Laptop, iMacs, iPods, games, Xboxs, iPhones, cars, etc. Good thing the boy has a girl like April to keep him check or he might be living in the box his Xbox came in. Oh yeah, he works in a prison. This kid is from a town where he graduated with more people than resides in the one he lives in now. Talk about adjustments. He really misses the sound of random screams, sirens, gunshots, trains, and barking dogs. It is okay though, all of those have been replaced by moos, baaas, clucks, and tractors. Umbee takes in all in stride though, because he knows that his wife really enjoys the view from their front window. And that makes it all worth while. However, he shyly reminds her from time to time, that one day, they are going back to civilization.
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