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Today's Featured Biography
Kurt Gavalier
I, the fearsome Backbeard, travel the Beltway looking for Booty! All yea that have no business knowing my business will find the business end of my business in their business, to wit:
I and me crew crossed the Mason-Dixon and watered and boot-topped out me Vespa on the uninhabited island of Virginia Tech. I spent about nine weeks on the LSD, but saw no ships, Virginia Tech being miserably landlocked. I were about to leave for the West Indies when I encountered a fleet of 42 Portuguese male models in the Todos os Santos' Bay (Shimmy Shack), waiting for two men-of-war, if yea be understanding. I took one of the vessels, and ordered her master to point out the richest "ship" in the fleet.
The Backbeard now headed for Devil's Island off the coast of Guiana (Motel Six) to use the booty (double entente). A few weeks later I be headed for the River Surinam, where I captured a sloop (trannie). When a brigantine was sighted (a female that speak dork), Backbeard took forty men to pursue it in the Vespa, leaving Walter Kennedy in command of the Rover (if yea be understanding). The sloop became wind-bound for eight days (yarg!), and when Backbeard and his men were finally able to return, they discovered that Kennedy had sailed off with the Rover and what remained of the loot (lube). Backbeard and his crew renamed their sloop the Richard's Farm and agreed new articles, which they swore on a stack of Swanks to uphold.
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