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Today's Featured Biography

Denver Linton McCaskey

Below is my job description. I just want to say that I do not take the credit for what you are about to read but I do assume the role it potrays.

I possess excellent communication and organizational skills and have to be prepared to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities!

My travel expenses are not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties are also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

For the rest of my life I will:

Be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Be willing to bite my tongue repeatedly.

Possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone
just crying wolf.

I must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.

I screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

I have the ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

I am willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

I handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

I always hope for the best but am prepared for the worst.

I assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

My responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None. My job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating my skills, so that those I'm in charge of can ultimately surpass me.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately. I receive on-the-job training on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! I pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When I die, I give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that I actually enjoy it and wish I could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; my job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,and free hugs and kisses for life if I play my cards right.

In case you didn't realize I AM A MOM among other things.

But seriously......I am still singing. I have the privelege of being the Worship Coordinator of the women's ministry at the church I attend. I now sing in church for my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, instead of in bars on the weekend. I volunteer at church every chance I get and then some. I love it.

I married Robert McCaskey from Centralia. We have "been together" 22 years now. I love him more all the time. My 10 year old daughter is a brain cancer survivor. Her name is Faith. She was diagnosed 4 weeks after she turned 7. Her name says it all.

Many other stories that I can't wait to share with you in June.

I am on facebook in case anyone is interested.

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