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Today's Featured Biography
Scott Kliment
How'd I end up in Arkansas? In '68, I got tired of being an impoverished student at "The Buckle in the Bible Belt"; Ft. Worth's Texas Wesleyan. So I headed south. To get some of that "BIG MONEY". In Houston! But, all I could afford was that city's "East End". So, that's where I ended up. Not far, "OFF OF WAYSIDE DRIVE"! Waylon made that part of Houston famous. But, Rodney Crowell wrote, "I Ain't Living Long Like This". He, not Waylon, grew up where I lived from '68 until '76. Among people I NEVER told Mom I "rubbed elbows" with! Dad figured it out, but kept quiet. The "East End" is still part of Rodney. It's also part of ME. Rodney and I are still "Above Ground"! But, Waylon isn't. Neither is Kris. Or Johnny. Only Willie still breathes.
Navigation Boulevard runs through the "East End". You can find ANYTHING on Navigation! From the finest machinery, to "Drugs". Or, you can connect with a "Bookie". Even, "Hook-up with a Hooker"! After two (gawd awful) uptown management trainee gigs, I found something right back in the "East End". On Navigation Boulevard. A SALES JOB! At which, I developed a good track record selling skid-steer loaders. The company owner's Father-In-Law was "Mr. Mack". He was well past 80, but ALWAYS in the office. That "OLD PHART" took a liking to me. And, it was he who could always figure out how to get ME, "In the Door"! My hits included BIG OIL. Nearly, ALL of it! That got me noticed across town; at Mustang Tractor and Equipment. The Caterpillar Dealer for Southeast Texas. Where, at age 32, I became a "Cat Big Iron Peddler"! But sadly, I never saw "Mr. Mack" again.
'Long-about '84, a "Connecticut Yankee" took over Mustang Power Systems (Cat Engines, EPG Systems, etc.). He was "Ev", and someone told him I came from a "Shipbuilding Family". He checked me out. Then asked if I'd work for him, covering the Maritime Biz. I NEVER wanted to see another DAMN SHIPYARD! But, I didn't tell "Ev" that, because we were in the "OIL CRASH". And, my income was going down faster than the express elevator in One Shell Plaza! But "Ev" knew that, so his guarantee was strong. And, at age 40, I moved on. Into "DAMN SHIPYARDS"! And, the world of Naval Architects and Marine Engineers. I intended to get back into heavy equipment, "Someday". But, I never did. Must be a "Family Thing".
Texas had fewer than a dozen shipyards. But, the bayous had many. So, my new career began in Louisiana. However, business soon took me far beyond "Cajun Country". And, that all began on "Texaco Island" in Port Arthur, Texas. Where, thanks to "Mr. Mack", I'd been a "Regular" for ten years! But, that's a "Whole 'Nuther Story". Anyway, Pre-Chevron Texaco had one of the world's finest tanker fleets. And, even though "Crude" was cheap, refineries still needed lots of it. Which they converted into refined products; then sold, and delivered. To the WORLD! So, I always carried my Passport. Also, learned how to live out of carry-ons. And, drive on the wrong side of the road. But, I was able to spend my free-time SCUBA diving. In REAL "Tropical Waters"! However, business also took me to "The Land of the Midnight Sun". Usually, when there was very little sun. So, I learned other skills. Like, where to find Yukon Carhartt's. How to sip whiskey over "Bergy Bits". I also learned reindeer taste as good as elk! But, I still can't choke down "Muktuk".
Not surprisingly, by '92, I was divorced. But, with Debbie; a successful Houston "Biz Lady", with two daughters. "OK" (Oldest Kid) was in Austin. But, "YK" (Youngest Kid) was only 15, and we connected! She became my SCUBA Buddy, and "Education Advancement Project". Her accomplishments include a Doctorate, in Neuroscience. Which SHE,---not WE,---paid for! With scholarships, grants, and a JOB. Dissecting lab critter brains. For THREE years! I wouldn't have lasted a week doing that. So, I'm still VERY proud of "YK"! We lived near NASA, in Friendswood. Just a block from the "Ferry Godfather". The 747, that carried the Space Shuttle, was NASA's "Ferry". And, Neighbor Rod's "Baby"! That Rod (from Boeing, not my "East End") was also a Mission Control Veteran of nearly forty space flights. And, he was married to Debbie's sister. So, he was my BROTHER-IN-LAW! I can't remember "Who-All" he brought to our place. For poolside, "BEER & BBQ"! Life was good! But, too soon, both kids were Austinites. And, our thoughts began to dwell on a life far from the "Houston Rat Race". Then, in '94, Marinette Marine landed a "BIGGIE" for thirty U.S. Coast Guard Buoy Tenders. ALL with "CAT POWER"! By then, thanks to "Mr. Mack", I had twenty years of experience with government agencies. Including, the USCG! So, in '95, we moved to Algoma. Where we found a home among the Amish. On 14 acres, with a spring-fed pond. We named it, "West of Krohn's Lake". And, we truly believed, we'd NEVER leave.
Our Wisconsin years started off great. I seldom traveled beyond New York/New Jersey, or DC. However, I was often at Cat factories and HQ, which was still in Peoria. There, I developed a strong relationship with the UAW. Since I was "Management", that caused problems. But, a few years later, it made me a "Celeb". In Poland! But, that's also a "Whole 'Nuther Story". Anyway, back in Algoma, we made improvements. First, we built the "Toy Box"; a 40 x 40 steel barn. Then, we nearly doubled the size of our home. Later, came Debbie's "Rustic Cabin"; overlooking HER "Professionally Managed" stocked pond! Finally, we added a garage/shop with MY upstairs saloon and pool hall.
The years rolled by smoothly. Debbie became "Debbie-At-The-Bank", and soon ran the place. My business was very good. I always managed to find marine projects in need of Cat Power, but they were the "Topping on the Cake". Our bills were paid by the activity at Marinette Marine. In early '98, I figured I had a few more years of "Buoy Tenders". And, I was in regular contact with all six Great Lakes shipyards; on both sides of the border. Plus, I held a "Non-Paying Side Job" that gave me access to all of North America's Certified Marine Engineers and Naval Architects. I was the Membership Chair ("RECRUITER") for the Great Lakes and Great Rivers Section of the Society of Naval Architects and Marine Engineers (SNAME).
The Fall of '98 was great. Except, the ending. Dad died just in time for Christmas. To start '99; his little brother, and Debbie's Dad followed. Then, after funerals and lawyers, I came down with pneumonia. But, I didn't waste my idle time. I spent hours on the phone, and studied our Great Lakes "Future Biz Prospects". As a result of my research, I became a Cat Retiree.
By March of '99, I was well, and back at work. As a "contractor" in Nova Scotia. I spent my final professional decade doing that. Halifax became my "Southern-most" port. From there, I went north and east, into Europe. Never made it back to the Tropics. Not even Florida. But, all I missed was SCUBA. Which MDs, have now told me to "QUIT"! So, I did. Back in Algoma, Debbie still ran the bank. That was our life until '08, when Debbie retired. And, I "Came Home". Where I put-in one more decade. As the "OLD PHART", at Walters Hardware. In, Algoma!
"West of Krohn's Lake", became a disaster. Our Amish neighbors, sold-out. They were replaced by dairy "Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations". Aka, CAFOs. The stink, noise, and pollution, were hard to ignore. So, we joined the fight to clean up Kewaunee County. Back in Texas, we learned, if you want to get attention; "GO FOR THE MONEY"! So, our first "punch" was aimed at our tax assessment; NOTHING else. And, we scored! In MADISON!!! That victory put us on TV. But soon, we were spending more time with lawyers, and "Activists", than we spent aboard our boat. Then came, THE manure spill. That crossed OUR FENCE LINE! We realized this was NOT how we wanted to spend our seventies. So, we were Texas-bound when Debbie's phone rang. The caller was our former Dairyland neighbor, now in Arkansas. She urged us to drop in. We did. That evening! And, two days later, we "Landed" on 2+ acres overlooking Lake Norfork's Pigeon Creek. Near, Mountain Home. And, just twenty minutes from Cotter, Arkansas: "Trout Capital of the U.S.A."! Never did move back to Texas.
I'm still here, but Debbie's in town. In a "Column-Bury-'Em"! Since June of 2022, and it hit me hard. She provided the motivation that put the "Certs" next to my U. of Houston BS Degree. Finally completed the damn thing in '70. But, it was the "Papers" next to it that put me where I ended up in "My World". They are from SNAME, and the "American Society of Naval Engineers". So, after Debbie's passing, I put "The Boys" in the "Doggie Hilton" and went back to Texas. To find a resting place for Debbie. Near Family. But, our family was doing what we did, back in '95. They were LEAVING Texas! Or, were already "with" Debbie. Even the "Ferry Godfather" is RIP! So, I returned to These Ozarks. But, my own health was deteriorating. And, I WASN'T a good patient! "Neighbor Joe" jumped my butt about that. Then, he introduced me to a WIDOWED nurse.
She's Marilou; the "Lauren Bacall Type" I've mentioned. We're together now. And, I really needed her. Especially, after I spent July of '24 in the "Horse Pistol". But, I don't remember much of it. After that, Marilou "Took Over". And, her methodology is atypical. So, I seldom know what we are eating, and, sleep is always preceded by exercise. But, Marilou is the reason my weight---and ENERGY LEVEL---are back to what they were in my 20's. And, I'm still "Here"! So,---what am I now in charge of? IMPORTANT things! Like, which boat do we use today? River? Lake? Or, waders and fly tackle? Or; should we just "Drop the Top" and take a ride? To Branson? Or, Nashville? Life is GREAT Again! Because my "Ticker" finally works correctly. It didn't. For my first 77 YEARS! But, now it does. Thanks to Medical Pros; plus MARILOU! And, a VERY supportive YK!
Also, I have an "Ace In the Hole" I found years ago. "OFF OF WAYSIDE DRIVE"! Where Waylon should have stayed and "hung out". Like Willie did, back in '58. Rodney Crowell did that through the 1960's. And, I spent my 20's doing it. "Neighbor Joe" is older than Willie, so we now check on him. He never was an "East Ender". But, he grew up east of here. As a "Flatlander", behind a mule. And, picking cotton! Near "Johnny". Who wrote about what happened, to their neighborhood, back in '37. What he wrote, he also sang. It's entitled; "Five Feet High, and Rising!" But, that's one more; "Whole 'Nuther Story". These Ozarks, are full of 'em.
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