|
Today's Featured Biography
SR Elwood
I was raised in a good Christian home and attended the Clio Assembly of God church. We were involved in just about everything that went on, from singing in the Christmas choir to Royal Rangers and Missionets. Our youth leader was very good at getting us to search the scriptures and teaching us to seek the will and power of the Lord.
As a young teen I felt the urgency to win souls for Christ and though I didn't talk to many people about salvation I was almost constantly in prayer for souls. My walk with Christ, at the time, resembled a roller coaster in an amusement park for I was continually up and down, though most always in prayer.
At the age of fifteen I went to bed one night as usual and experienced something that would forever change my life and the lives of others I would meet in the years, which lay ahead.
On the night already mentioned, I was sleeping deeply when voices close and loud awakened me. As I awoke I realized I was standing upon a hill overlooking an ancient city. On the hill with me was a crowd of people dressed in robes of various colors and shapes. They were all looking to my right and up, as if they were searching the sky. I followed their gaze and discovered upon the hill with us stood three crosses. I stood in a trance like state, taking in the sights and sounds around me, then I heard someone calling my name. I followed the sound of the voice and looked full into the
face of the man on the center cross. As my eyes made contact with his eyes, my soul seemed to melt within me.
I stood transfixed, unable to move, not wanting to move, for never before and not since have I seen eyes like his. The depth of love within those eyes was unfathomable and my soul seemed as if it would explode from the feeling of pureness and inexpressible joy. Love without end and compassion beyond anything I had ever felt or seen emanated from him and as I was locked within his gaze he spoke again and said he loved me, and that he had something for me to do.
In the next instant we were no longer on the hill, but were looking down from high above. The world below looked like one huge wheat field, laid out in squares. Some of the wheat was green, some was just planted and some was ripe and ready to reap. His voice once again saturated my very being as he spoke my name and said, "I need you to harvest my crops." I said, "Lord I am just a teenager, what can I do, who would listen to me?" He showed me the lost, the dying and his heart was broken at this.
But what could I do, I was just a child.
Over the years he has called me again and again, and every time I would
have an excuse, usually, "I have no testimony, and no experience, what can I
do that would make a difference?"
In 1976 I was diagnosed with cancer and when they found it, it was spread through two-thirds of my body. I received forty days of radiation therapy, (980,000,000 volts of electronic radiation), after the tumor was removed, all to no avail. Then one Sunday morning while watching Earnest Angley on TV from my hospital bed, the power of God struck me in the top of my head like a bolt of lightening and went out the bottom of my feet. The next blood test showed no sign of cancer; I was instantly and completely
healed.
It is amazing how ignorant we humans are, how ignorant I am, for soon after, being called again I used the same excuse. "Who will listen to me?"
In January 1977 I was working on an antique pistol when it went off and sent a .45 round ball through both of my legs. I was rushed to St. Joseph Hospital in Flint, Michigan where the x-rays showed the path of the bullet. The bone and the artery were in the hole, but neither was struck, A Miracle. The amount of blood lost from the wound was only about enough to fill a small teacup. Another Miracle. The emergency room Doctor came out of his office and told me,
"Mr. Elwood, you're a very lucky man." As he was talking he struck a match to light his pipe. I raised my self up from the gurney and told him, "Dr. I'm a Christian, the Lord has me here for a reason and it's not to die." He stood for a moment, and as the match burned his fingers he said, "Ya, I'll have to remember that."
I discovered I was there for two reasons. First there was a man there that was dying of cancer the Lord wanted to save, heal, and use for His work. Second, the Lord needed me flat on my back so the only direction I could look was up.
During the second week I was scheduled for a routine cleaning of the wound in my right leg and the nurse came in my room to give me a double shot of Demerol to prepare me for the surgical procedure. Twenty minutes before the Doctor was supposed to start the procedure, he was called away to emergency surgery. Three hours later he entered my room and informed me that he was going to have to leave town for a medical conference but he would still have time to perform the procedure if we did it right away, but there was a catch.
Since I had already received a double dose of Demerol, I wouldn't be able to have any more for at least three hours, for my own safety. I thought it over for a few minutes and then gave him the go ahead; knowing it was going to hurt. As the Dr. and his team set up the equipment they would need, one of the nurses stood beside my bed. She told me if I needed to I could squeeze her hand while the Dr. worked. I told her to keep her hand away from mine for at the time I was tremendously strong and did not want to hurt her or any of the others which were trying their best to help me.
I watched out of the corner of my eye as the Dr. prepared the surgical steel rod he would use to push the gauze and butadiene ball through my leg to remove the infection that was building up inside.
I can remember him asking me if I was ready, and then after a yes from me, everything turned red and then black. The steel bars of the bed rail, onto which I had been holding, were the first things I saw when I opened my eyes. A jumbled bent mess had replaced their normal straight shape, and there was an abnormal hush in the room as the nurses worked over me at a feverish pace, their normal color replaced by a frightened bloodless white. Later I discovered that my blood pressure had dropped to a level almost too low to read, and my temperature had shot up to almost 107. I could hear the speaker system in the hall calling for a code blue on my floor, but didn't know until later that it was for me.
I can remember the look on my wife's face as she walked through the door. She had been crying, and was now doing her best not to show it. She sat by my bed and held my hand, quietly praying, then opened the bible she had brought and read to me the scripture the Spirit of God had given to her for me from Hosea 6: 1 - 3.
1 Come, and let us return unto the LORD: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.
2 After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.
3 Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the LORD: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.
Slowly over the next few days my strength began to return, and as Prophesied, I was on my feet for the first time three days later. To God be the Glory.
In November 1978, I was putting together a tool crib with a foreman. He laid a steel bracing bar across the top of the cage, without telling me it was there and left to use the phone. I was on my hands and knees putting in anchor bolts and when I moved the bottom of the cage the bar came down and struck me in the back of the head. When I came to, there were several people standing around, unsure of what to do, so doing nothing.
The blow to the head caused what is called a 'Closed Head Injury', from which I still suffer to this day, willingly. I don't want you to think that the Lord couldn't or wouldn't heal me, He offered, but I told Him no.
You see, I'm stubborn, but not completely stupid. I learned through everything that when there is nothing wrong with me I have a tendency to slide away, so I asked the Lord for daily strength. It would be nice at times to be able to do the things other people take for granted, but I would rather serve Christ the rest of my life damaged, having His power, than be ‘normal’ without pain and have the whole world. I am so much happier now; having to depend upon my King for the very ability to think and talk than when those things were taken for granted and abused. Through everything I have been allowed to experience, God has given me the ability to write His words in poetry and I guess the most important thing, I now have a testimony to use for my Lord.
It should seem that after all of this I would live “Happily ever after” doesn’t it?
But even after all I had been brought through there was something that still bothered me deeply. I would listen to preachers and other servants of God give their testimony about being saved and they all seemed to remember, to the exact second, when, where, and how it happened.
I searched my fragmented memories for a trace of the day upon which I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but I came up with nothing.
"How can I be a witness,” I often cried out to God. "Everyone I see and hear, knows when and where they were saved, who will listen to someone who can't tell them that simple of a thing?"
I agonized for years over this, with no answer. Then one day, after telling God that I would serve him no matter what, even if I couldn't remember when I was saved, I was given a vision.
I saw in my mind a kitchen, two small children and a mother fixing their lunch. An old square radio sat on the counter, Christian music drifting from its antique speaker, filling the room. A man's voice began to softly tell the story of a man he called Jesus. The eyes of the youngest boy filled with wonder as he spoke and his heart burned with a fire that I felt myself. I watched as the scene played out before my eyes, my mind and as the mother softly asked the boys if they would like to ask this Jesus into their hearts, my memory was opened. I watched in wonder and awe, as my brother, my mother and I knelt at an old kitchen chair, where I asked Jesus Christ to come into my heart.
Tears flowed as I watched it over and over again, thanking God for the memory he had allowed me to see and still see to this day, making my testimony complete.
Don't fight against the Master. If he is calling you to work for him, no matter what it is, do it. He will give you what you need to make the journey, and the power to overcome any and all obstacles that may lie in your path along the way. Give in to his calling and bring some lost wandering soul into his Kingdom today.
MY TALE
1996
I'm locked within this little hole
With all my dreams and fears
The world outside's a blurry haze
My face all streaked with tears
Outside this place the world goes bye
So hard to interact
I had not slept for three odd years
My thoughts all strewn and hacked
I try to talk but words won't match
Oh just one sentence please
I'm trapped inside my damaged head
No hope for sweet release
Though now I write in years gone past
My battle rages on
I struggle hard on each new day
A bent and broken pawn
Don't think this poem a complaint
For I have come so far
I'm strengthened by and writing for
The Bright and Morning Star.
* * *
I was ordained April 21, 2001 by the World Christianship Ministries, fulfilling a life long dream of service for Jesus Christ. I still have days when everything collapses in on me but Christ stays at my side and holds the world back and me together. I still have trouble thinking and responding and doing things that you would consider normal but oh the fellowship I have with my Lord as I write the words he gives to me to touch this lost and hurting world.
My memory is still fragmented which is quite distressing and sometimes I have to have help with the simplest things, which if in public is very embarrassing. I forget how to do things, simple things, right in the middle and my wife, (who is, by the way, the most caring and beautiful woman God has ever allowed to grace this planet), helps me to remember.
I never know when the lapses will hit, or where. I very seldom go out by myself for that reason and really would usually rather stay in at the computer anyway.
Through it all I have learned to be content with what I have. I have known the Healing Touch of The Master. I have heard His Voice in my ear and know He loves me. The most important thing though is I have been allowed to experience all that I have so I can relate to those who think they have no hope and say, “Yes you do and His name Is Jesus the Christ of the Living God. He is my King and He wants to be yours. He is my Savior; He wants to be yours. He is my Healer, He wants to be yours; all you have to do is Believe, Ask and Receive!
SWEET PEACE
by
Rev. S.R. Elwood
© 2001
Weeping endures but for a moment
Pain endures but for a day,
Glory exists in all my tomorrow’s
In Christ’s presence forever I’ll stay.
Heartache lasts but for a second
Sorrow’s a vapor in time,
But Joy is eternal, forever unending
At Rest, in Heaven Sublime.
* * *
Recently I have been given something new to experience that I may speak to another group of people, heart problems. In December 2001 I was rushed to the hospital and now have a stint in my right coronary artery (RCA). The doctors say I have blockage in another artery but it is not yet bad enough to fix.
With this new health assault the old panic, fear and depression came raging back and I once again fight the old daily fight and learn anew that His Grace is truly sufficient. By His strength I stand. By His might I prevail. By His Mercy I live daily and continue to write for Him.
I pray that everyone could feel His touch, though I wish upon no one the pain anguish and despair I have walked with through the years.
Don’t misunderstand that statement. I do not complain nor do I mean to imply unhappiness for it is through all these things I have been Allowed to experience and things I will be allowed to experience in the future that I am able to write for Him.
In all, I have learned the most important thing mankind can learn and that is the Mercy and Grace of His Cross.
BUT FOR THE CROSS
by
Rev. S.R. Elwood
© 2002
But for the Cross I knew not mercy
Nor the darkness of sins stain,
Nor the burden of depression
Nor the deepness of God’s pain.
I had not known the shadows
But by the light upon the ground,
As His Light He Shined Eternal
With the hammers ringing sound.
I had not known His sadness
But for His mothers flowing tears,
As she cried on old Golgotha
Amongst the wicked jeers.
I had not known sweet sorrow
But for the breaking of the day,
As his followers so helpless
In helpless fear did pray.
I had not known the sunrise
Nor the joyful sounds of spring,
Lest the Cross was placed upon that hill
Eternal Life to us to bring.
That Cross so cruel and final
Just the prelude to the grave,
Marked the greatest gift that’s given
As God’s Son there freely gave.
But then there came another gift
The best for us you see,
Christ Arose Up From the Dead For All
And Eternal Set Us Free.
______________________________________________
NEW HEALTH UPDATE
On 4-7-02 I was rushed back into emergency with immobilizing chest pain after a severe coughing spell and after 3 hospitals and several procedures Mary Jo once again brought me home yesterday afternoon all but the last two days in CCU. The prayers of all those praying for me prevailed I am still alive and giving GOD ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY. I experienced the greatest pain as of yet, more than I ever thought was possible for the human body to experience and survive and yet here I am, TO GOD ALMIGHTY BE THE POWER, GLORY, and MAJESTY... FOREVER and FOREVER AMEN!
I also was allowed to see some things while out of this world, which have and will forever change my life. God is more fearsome, loving, kind, gentle. Merciful POWERFUL than we are able to imagine while locked within this shell of clay. I know some of you whom I send e-mail to may not be Christians YET and believing is a choice. I was allowed to see God as He truly is and know this; He is not what or who you think He is unless you have already learned that HE IS GOD ALMIGHTY, ULTIMATE.
I was not allowed to know any time lines but I saw the final battle and when GOD came upon satan and all who followed him EVERYTHING ENDED There was no battle for I saw that WHAT or WHOMEVER COMES INTO CONTACT WITH THE FATHER THAT IS NOT PART OF THE FATHER THROUGH THE SON; CEASES TO EXIST! and is cast into Eternal Separation and Fire.
If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior Please seek Him. Please don’t let what I was allowed to see happen to you.
______________________________________________
Update 11-10-2002
Since the last update I had two more heart catheters in May and have been in and out of the hospital many times because of extreme chest pain. When the pain hits it sweeps through me in spasms that wrack my body with unimaginable unquenchable pain. I was placed on several different pain medications including 1500mg of Vicodin every four hours, which helped but didn’t stop the pain. I was diagnosed with Neuritis caused by all of the heart catheters and sent to St. Mary’s Pain Clinic. The treatment I received broke the cycle of pain and allowed the non-narcotic pain medication I was taking to work. One of the medications I was on was allowed to run out and the pain has returned. I am once again on narcotics and scheduled to return to the pain clinic on the 14th of this month.
Though I still suffer I give ALL the Glory to God! He has never left me and will never leave me through everything. I know that I would not and could not write for Him if I had not been allowed to experience His Mercy and unending Grace. I have learned time and again that it is only through suffering that we as humans can be used by and for our Creator. When we are strong we rely upon our own strength and go our own ways, following whatever path seems the easiest for us to follow.
It is not until we have no strength of our own that we ever truly seek God and seek His will and His path, which He has planned for us to follow.
God is truly merciful. He cares for us and because He cares He allows us to suffer so we will seek Him and upon seeking Him we will find a Peace which passes all our understanding.
I know there are many more challenges for me to face and if I must do so in pain I will follow that path He has laid for me through that valley and be stronger in Him and for Him because of the journey.
_____________________________________________
Update 3/26/03
I continue to suffer yet I continue to praise my Lord for everything. Sometimes I get discouraged and tend to lash out at those around me, but when the pain is finally under control again I apologize, ask for more grace and continue on. I have discovered that we are tougher than we think. I have also discovered that I don’t really like pain but will continue on this journey called life just as long as I can still be useful to my Lord and my King Jesus Christ.
He makes the journey worthwhile and no matter what I am asked to go through, I will go through it for I know He will be with me. I once thought that we could face trials and tribulations without ever bending under the load. I have learned that that notion was not only the idea of an inexperienced Christian it was unrealistic. Christ never promised that we wouldn’t bend under the load nor did He promise that we wouldn’t fall. What He did promise though is that He would never leave us and I have found that to be true.
Through everything I have experienced, even death itself, Christ Jesus never left me and never will. I still live in pain and am still undergoing treatments at St. Mary’s Pain Clinic but I still write for my Lord. It’s not that I don’t question Him sometimes because I do, especially at times when the pain is unbearable. I have learned that it is not wrong to question Him in fact He expects us too because if we question Him, He will always answer and within the answer we will always find the strength to go on.
I’m not any more special nor any more loved than any other believer. We as Christians can all experience Christ personally. The only way to do that is to be in constant prayer. The problem is that most of us don’t usually spend enough time praying to get to know Him. Sometimes He allows things to happen so that we either scream at Him and turn away or we scream at Him then crawl to the foot of His cross and take hold of His Grace He left there for us so long ago. I have found a new level of Grace but have also discovered that even in great Grace we can become complacent if we do not stay constantly within the shadow of His Cross.
Christ abides faithful though we are unfaithful and He abides true even when we fail. Failure is a human trait and can only be overcome by seeking Christ Himself. He is the only cure for our failure. He is the only solution for the problem of sin that constantly wages war against us. Within the shadow of His Cross begins the river of Holy Blood that flows eternally for the salvation of all who will willingly immerse themselves within it's purity.
______________________________________________
Update 7-25-03
I now, as of the 22nd of this month, have five stints in the artery’s going to and from my heart. My arteries keep plugging up and the doctor’s keep re-opening them. My body’s own defenses are working against me and are filling up the newly opened arteries with the healing and artery building process that God designed within us all.
The pain from the nerve damage caused by all of the heart catheters (10 now) has been unbearable and yet I give unto my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ all the Praise, Glory and Honor due Him. I Praise God the Father that I am still able to write for Him as I continue going through this struggle, this ordeal. I know that each new day could be my last and try to treat each day as if it were my last as I go forward with the mission God has ordained me to do. I strive to win souls that have been lost to the lies, the deceit and the treachery of the enemy. Each day I go on with my ministry and though I wish to stay and win as many souls as possible I long to see my Savior and to walk the golden streets of my eternal home!
I am not certain just what the future holds for me while I remain in this flesh other than more surgery and pain, but whatever it is I know that Christ Jesus will give me the strength, the will and the wisdom to travel the path laid out for me to walk.
Stand steadfast in your faith Brothers and Sisters in Christ and please pray for me as each of you strive yourselves to win all the souls that our Lord Jesus Christ paid such a dear price to redeem. Do not let the cares of this world cave in upon you for He who created the world and all that exists is able to hold the cares from crushing you; if you let Him take them from your shoulders and carry them for you.
Praise Christ in your troubles. Praise Christ in your pain, in your sickness, in your trials and the world will see the true strength of the Kingdom of God. You see, I always wondered why some people were not healed when they asked for it even though their faith was strong. As you have seen through my testimony I have been healed many times. When the trials that I am now going through now began I was confused because I was and am still suffering pain beyond description. I prayed and reached out unto the throne of God in my anguish and it seemed that He was silent and I was alone until something wonderful happened. In the depth of my sorrow, in the recesses of my fears and in the unfathomable agony of my flesh I heard the answer weakly escape from my own parched lips.
As I lay wracked in pain with doctors and nurses working feverishly to save my mortal life, from the center of my being I Praised God. The praises escaped my lips in between gasps of pain as I through reflex of past praising began to give Him Praise. Though I was lost in the realm of agony, despair and torment I began to Praise Him for He is truly Worthy to be Praised.
Whispers came from those around me and I heard people as they questioned in hushed tones how someone could praise God while in such agony. The more I hurt the more I praised Him for I had determined long ago that I would not ever give glory to the enemy by ceasing my offering of Praise to God.
I will not give way to the enemy by ceasing my Praise of the Holy Only Begotten Son of The Living God because our Praise of Him is our strength for He inhabits our Praise. With Praise we approach the Throne of the Father. As we Praise Him and His Only Begotten Son Who Died, Arose and Lives Forever we are transformed into the likeness of Christ Jesus and only then can we receive the fullness of His Power that He has ordained for everyone who will Seek Him as He desires and deserves to be sought.
I have witnessed many mighty things happen because of what I have been going through. Not because I am anything, but because Christ is All In All and is Worthy to be Praised. When we take our mind off self and place it upon Christ Jesus it is only at that point that we are completely open to Him. It does not matter what is going on around us. It does not matter where we are. It does not matter what we are going through. If we would but learn to Praise Him Always, in Everything, no matter what, the Body of Jesus Christ (the Church) would see the world change before our eyes.
I still suffer everyday and yet I continue to write for my King. I am being treated by doctors because this is what Christ Jesus has allowed me to go through this time that through the pain, through the torment, through the so far unending struggle I might find the one thing we all have to have if we are to truly serve Him; The Grace to learn Complete and Total Submission to His will.
Though it is true that we are saved by His Grace when we accept His Gift of eternal life, we are only covered with the external part of it. To find our place within His Holy Will we must come to know Him Personally One on One. We must meet Him within the fringe of the dying of our will and accept His Truth Completely and Fully. Only when we learn to Praise Him in Everything no matter the circumstances can we ever be used of Him as He intends for us to be used.
When is the last time you Praised Christ Jesus when you were out in public?
When is the last time you heard someone using His Name as a curse and you stood up for Him and Praised His Name out loud and made His Holy Presence known to those around?
When is the last time you witnessed to someone you either knew or suspected didn’t know Christ Jesus as Lord, Savior and King?
Do you Know Him in His Fullness? Do you Know Him in His Holiness?
Would you die for Him?
If you answered this question yes; Would you Really?
Then how come you can’t even shout His Praises out in church without feeling self-conscious and afraid?
Out in the world there are souls dying everyday without the cleansing of His Holy Blood,
passing into eternal damnation while the area "Church (es)" set behind closed doors and plays at religion.
Do you really Love Him or are you just 'playing the religion game’ hoping God will find you "good enough" and let you into heaven?
* * *
What did you do for Christ Jesus yesterday?
What have you done for Him today?
What will you do for Him tomorrow?
Where are you going to spend eternity?
______________________________________________
A Final Statement in case I am called home during surgery on 12-23-03.
As I head once again under the knife, I must say that I am ready to meet my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Only Begotten Son of The Living God.
It has taken me a number of years and many visions, as well as many encounters with near death and even death itself to realize that God not only heals instantly through the holy Blood of Jesus Christ but He also uses doctors.
It was God that gave mankind the knowledge to make medicines and medical equipment. It was God that gave mankind the knowledge of the anatomy of mankind.
It is God that draws certain people to be doctors and nurses just as some are called to be ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is not the will of God that any should perish or die without the chance to meet and accept His Only Begotten Son. Therefore it is only logical that it would be God that allows us to live by the knowledge He gives to doctors.
I have been healed instantly from Terminal Cancer and other things. If you take the time to read my entire testimony you can see when and how the events occurred as well as many others. The information to what I am going through now is also there, if you are interested.
I write this in case this happens to be the time that I am Called Home or allowed to enter my Eternal Rest. I write this to complete my testimony, if this is the time; if not my testimony will continue onward until that time arrives or until God the Father gives the order for The Trumpet to sound calling everyone who has accepted the Gift He Gave of His Son Jesus Christ as The Payment for sin buying us back from sin and in the process destroying death for all who will Believe that Jesus Christ Is Lord Of All.
If the surgery to implant the electrodes for the device is successful and the device is successful in controlling the pain, I will be receiving healing by one of the devices created by the knowledge of God, installed by one and more that were called into the medical profession so they could heal believers but especially unbelievers to give them another chance to meet, believe in and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord, Savior and King. Many of those working in the medical field are not believers themselves but nonetheless they are doing the work God has called them to do.
_____________________________________________
Update 12-25-03
Well I survived the surgery but it is not over yet. The device worked well during the surgical phase but when rehooked in the recovery room it failed to have the desired effect. They checked out the wiring and everything they could without actually going back inside me and decided to let it try and work until my next appointment with the doctor on December 30th. I was assured that even if this couldn’t be made to work they would keep trying until something does.
I will keep fighting right up until the final breath that I am allowed to draw. I will keep writing no matter the pain, no matter the cost, no matter the ordeal I have to go through. So many people have been touched by everything so far and so many have had their eyes opened to Christ Jesus, so what I am suffering now is more than worth the temporary price I am paying for the eternal souls of those already touched and those that will yet be touched through my ordeal.
I continue to serve my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in all that I can do. I hope and pray to be free from pain but would rather suffer everyday for the rest of my life and win lost souls for Christ than to be free of pain and win none. Your fellow servant in our Saviors Holy Blood and Eternal Holiness.
______________________________________________
Continued Update 1/1/04
I go back into surgery on January 8th to have a new electrode implanted because they recently discovered that the first one was faulty.
If the surgery is successful and the new electrode works at an acceptable level of power, they might go ahead with the full implant to reduce the risks of a 3rd surgery later.
If the new electrode does not allow the device to work at lower power levels it would be considered futile to do a permanent implant since at the level it requires now 7 - 12 amps, the battery would only last about a year and the with cost of the device as well as the cost of the surgery it would not be practical to do.
If that happens and God does not choose to heal me completely as in the past I will be looking at a lifetime of pain medication which I would rather not have to do.
However, I am prepared to do and accept whatever my Lord Jesus Christ bestows upon me to do.
If it is His choice to continue to use medical science and/or medicines to keep me going and writing for Him then I will gladly do it.
I have no desire to suffer nor do I enjoy pain.
I do however intend to work for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as long as I can, no matter the cost.
______________________________________________
Update 1-9-04
I was once again in surgery yesterday for almost two hours. The doctors and the specialist from MedTronics designed a new system just for me during the surgery. There were several very tense moments during which I started to bleed and when bleeding occurs into the spine it is very dangerous.
The prayers of everyone that is praying for me around the world has once again pulled me through. This time the system they designed is working as expected and is blocking some of the pain. While I was in the operating room I had a spasm and the machine kept it from getting worse. It didn’t take it away but it kept it from making me scream like the spasms from the damaged nerves usually do.
They had to disconnect the machine to continue running the wiring and the spasm reached a very severe level and they had to give me a very high dose of narcotics to keep the pain from getting worse.
I have one more surgery to go through so they can build an interface for an external generator instead of implanting an internal one. The power levels needed to control my pain is so high that they would have to change the system every five to six months, which is not an option. Every time they operate there is a very high chance of death because of the area and the nature of the implant itself.
I continue to trust my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as He uses doctors to control my pain. I will continue to write for Christ as long as I can and will reach as many lost souls and lead them to His Cross where they can find what everyone is searching for. Unconditional Love, Eternal Life and True Happiness.
There will be more updates to follow as long as Christ allows me to live and gives me the words to write to lead souls to Him.
______________________________________________
Update 5-18-04
The interface is in place and it is working. I had hoped for better results than what I received but I was told that is normal when someone is in such severe pain for so long. The pain levels have been reduced overall by about Fifty Percent but the spasms remain unaffected other than a little on the duration and the severity which is great.
The spasms which used to last for weeks at a time and range from severe to indescribable pain, now are reduced to a matter of days and sometimes hours. The pain is still extremely bad when the spasms hit and hold but are much better because I actually have periods in between in which I have much lower pain levels.
I can’t say that I have no pain at all sometimes. I would love to be able to say it, but God has brought tremendous relief to me through these doctors and designers which He has given the knowledge to so they could be His hands in the same way that we are to be His hands and His voice to the lost, hungry and dying in this world.
I know not whether I will ever be without pain. I do know that I am grateful for the level of relief I have and hope over time that it may work even better. I continue to write for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and no matter the amount of pain I am asked to endure I will never cease to write for Him as long as He gives me the strength and the knowledge to write the words He gives me.
Stand strong in whatever you are enduring for Christ. If the enemy throws something at you, dig in deeper into the Word of God and claim victory over every single battle no matter how big or small.
I have a decision to make about another surgery that is very dangerous if I go through with it. If I discover that the chances are too great that I might not be able to write anymore, I will not trade the chance for no pain for the gift I have been given.
I would rather write in pain and be of service to my Lord Jesus Christ than never hurt again and allow a single soul to pass into eternity that I might have been able to bring to the Cross of Christ.
______________________________________________
Testimony Update 9/29/04
September 1st back under the knife for my 13th heart catheter and 7th stent. I spent almost a week in the hospital and then was released to go home. Three weeks later, Wednesday September 22nd I am rushed back into the emergency room with a fever if 103 and climbing. The emergency room staff fight to get my fever down as it climbs to 103.5 and the danger of permanent damage and/or death looms close at hand.
Finally by the evening they managed to stabilize my raging fever and transport me to a cardiac observation room upstairs where they proceeded to perform every test for infection available. The final test was a special Cat Scan to see if there is anything lurking around any of the many implants inside me and when none is discovered I am allowed to finally return home.
Monday, September 27th I am finally back home and very happy to be here. This has been a ride beyond belief and I pray I do not have to take the ride again.
However, as I have always said before, knowing full well the consequences of my statement, I will willingly go through anything my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ calls for me to endure as long as the journey brings Honor and Glory to God the Father through Jesus Christ His Only Begotten Son. As Jesus made it very clear that it was His goal to give All Honor and Glory unto His Father, it is to be our goal. to bring by our obedience to Christ Jesus Glory and Honor unto Him that our doing so brings Honor and Glory to the Father through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
My goal is to win as many lost souls to Jesus Christ as I can before either my time is up here on this earth or before the Trumpet sounds bringing an end to the age of the ‘gentiles.’ We have so little time and yet so many ‘Christians’ are wrapped up in their own little world, caring only for themselves and possibly as lost as those they are supposed to be saving.
I fear for the souls of these ‘Christians’ which never do anything for Christ Jesus other than just enjoy His Presence. They sit and worship while all around them souls are dying and they don’t even seem to care.
They have been absorbed into the satanic lie that ’if they (those outside the church) want Christ they know where we are.’ How are ’they’ going to know where or even what you are if you don’t go out among them and let them know.
Jesus said, “Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to all creatures” He didn’t say set on your dead rotting self righteous butt and let ‘them’ come to you.
Jesus gave us the parable of the ‘talents’ as well as the ‘Good man of the house’ and others so we could reason out that we are to actually be working for His return.
There is a difference between working ‘for’ salvation and ‘working out your salvation with fear and trembling.’ Many do nothing and think because they sing on Sunday morning and sometimes Sunday night that they are all set.
I am afraid that so very many ‘so-so Christians’ will be standing with the goats at the left hand of God as the true believers are ushered away into the Eternal Presence of Almighty God.
I’m going to be doing everything in my power to bring every soul I can before His Cross so I will be able to win everyone I can for Jesus Christ.
Where are you going to be and what are you going to be doing when Christ Jesus calls?
As Joshua said in Joshua 24: 14 - 15
14 Now, then, fear the LORD, and serve Him in sincerity and truth. And put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt, and serve the LORD.
15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served Beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you live. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
I say too, “As for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord!”
(Glory and Honor be to God the Father through the Holy Blood of Christ Jesus through the Eternal Power of the Spirit of The Living God!)
(Hear Ye O Israel, The Lord our God is ONE)
______________________________________________
Update 10/29/04
I am still alive and working as I can for the Salvation of as many souls as I can before either my time on this earth is over or God The Father gives the word and the Trumpet Sounds and We Which Believe Are Whisked Away to Be With Our Blessed Savior and Eternal King Forever and Forever.
I continue to be in pain, sometimes extreme and I still have heart pains and have several times come very close to be taken back to the hospital.
Sometimes it is hard for me to understand just what God is doing with me. In the past, as you can see from the earlier part of my testimony, I have been healed instantly. This time however I am being allowed to experience the daily strength of Christ Jesus.
I get so discouraged sometimes and a friend, my very best friend (earthly speaking) reminds me that God does things in his own time and in His own way. Even though I already know all of this I find that I forget things when I am really troubled and the cares of the world come slamming in upon me. When this happens I often weep at the throne of God and at times feel His hand gently upon me and his voice ever so softly whispers in my minds ear just how much he cares for me.
In my darkest moments I have heard Him speak and have been allowed to briefly feel the torment He felt before and during His Tribulation and death. In my great pain and anguish I have been allowed to see that things can always be worse.
I have also been allowed to feel what He felt as He Arose From the grip of death and it seems that the overwhelming flood of Joy will never end, then I am reminded of reality as I feel my pain torn body close back around me and I think wistfully of the Joy which awaits us when we shall finally be able to be within His presence forever.
It is that which keeps me going as well as the thought of disappointing Him if I fail in the mission I have been given. At one time I had the entire world before me with the Call of God Upon me. Now in later years, having used one excuse or another I cannot go anywhere or do anything.
Yet, God in His Mercy has allowed me another chance. I have a testimony and though I cannot go out, I can reach the entire world right here from the confines and safety of my little office.
I can go places from here in this room that were never accessible in times past in the physical form. I can go into the home of people that would never step into a church until they have heard the message about just whom awaits them there and that His name is Jesus.
I can go into places where there are guards at the door and a preacher could never enter. By the power of the internet, I can take the Gospel of Jesus Christ the Only Begotten Son of The Living God into these places and more so that I might reach every soul I can before my time or time in general is over.
I have no idea what the future holds for me other than what the Bible says. I have always said in the past and say even now, knowing full well the consequences. “I will go through anything God wants me to go through, if it brings Honor and Glory to His Name.”
I have suffered much and am still alive. I have had veteran nurses hold my hand and cry as I have suffered pain indescribable and have had the opportunity to witness to them of the sustaining Power and Glory of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. During one of the many surgeries to place the wires for the implant from Medtronic, I felt everything the doctor did as I had to be awake during the process. The pain medicine they were using doesn’t work well on me and because of several different reasons they couldn’t use the ones that did. He had to cut into me and then fasten the wire to a surgical steel rod and push it under my skin across my back. I have felt worse pain but this was bad. During the process, one of the nurses asked me how I could keep going so while they worked I had the chance to tell them about my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I cried out in pain sometimes and the doctor kept apologizing but I always told him it was okay and to keep going.
We can go through a lot when we have to and really do not realize it until the time comes. I know now how the Christians of old were able to go through what they went through when they refused to deny Christ Jesus. Several different times I have been engulfed within the Power of God and have literally left this world behind as pain beyond belief gripped me within its jaws. The Peace I felt while within that blanket of Love was truly indescribable. There is nothing I can compare it to that I have experienced and I know that if need be God will be there again and again with that Holy Comfort when needed.
When you feel like you can’t go forward another step or when the cares of life is beyond your ability to cope; give up your ability to God and let His Power through His Holy Spirit Sustain you. I have discovered that the main problem with the ‘Body of Christ’ today is that we talk and write a lot about Him but never take the time With Him to really understand just who He really is and what He really wants. He doesn’t want your time, He Wants You! When He has you then you will give Him your time but will then really understand what you are doing and why you are doing it.
I will write more later. I am wore out and have to rest. Keep yourselves In Christ Jesus. Don’t just read about Him and pray AT Him. Take the time to Meet Him and talk With Him and learn to Listen. When you learn to do this you will learn to hear His voice and then you will start seeing successes where before there have been more failures than success.
______________________________________________
Update January 17, 2005
It is another new year already and I still live on and serve my Jesus. Nothing has changed from the last update other than the number of souls which have been touched by the words I have been given to write. I remain ever vigilant in my bonds of pain for every chance to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to another area of the world. I have been working with people in many countries. Some contact me for permission to use my work and I never turn anyone away and never charge for the use of my work for one simple reason; it is given to me by the Holy Spirit to write for the purpose it is being used.
I do not know why I was chosen and given the gift of words but as long as I am given the ability I will write for my Jesus. I am nothing special and I possess nothing special other than the Holy Blood of my Lord and Savior. I am eternal grateful to be chosen, though I do not understand why; there are so many others whom are so much better than I. I will continue to fulfill my calling and do the very best I can until I am no longer useful for whatever reason. I know that if that time comes God will open up another avenue for me and if that time comes I will gladly travel whatever road He asks me to walk.
Those of you which have the Holy Blood of Jesus Christ upon you and within you must make sure to do everything you can for Jesus every moment you have to use. Do not do as I did for so many years and waste your time doing useless things and making up excuses why you aren’t good enough or why you can’t do this or that. Jesus will give you the strength to do and to go through anything, If You Are Willing.
I will write more when I can. Stay strong in Christ and tell everyone you come across about Him and what He did for them. We are almost out of time and so are those which are still lost.
Your Fellow Servant In the Eternal Holiness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ The King.
______________________________________________
Update August 18, 2005
I just yesterday was released from the hospital after another Emergency run which came close to ending my life; again. God is not through with me yet because it is only by His power that I still live and write. Monday I underwent my 16th heart catheter and only by the grace of God do I still live. I am still wracked with pain that is sometimes beyond description and yet I say Praise God and Praise Be To His Only Begotten Son my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
I will not give up, though I must admit that during this last procedure I was hoping that something would go wrong and that I would cross the river of death and stand before my Lord and my King; but alas, it was not to be. I still live and I am still in pain from the nerve damage caused by careless and negligent doctors but I live in the Grace of Christ Jesus and continue on in his Strength.
The medical device that is implanted in me controls about 40 percent of the pain and I take pain medications to help control the rest, to a point. I accept the lot that I have been dealt and am willing to continue on no matter what lies in my path for anything we experience for Christ Jesus is more than worth the small cost we may pay if it leads to even one soul won by what we experience.
If you too are suffering, suffer willingly and give God the Praise and Glory for it. Do not let it get you down, do not let it keep you from praising God and spreading the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to everyone you can. We only live but for a second in the span of God’s time and when we are done and we have carried the burden we have been given and in the process brought others strength from our suffering and encouragement from our trials; we will have won.
God rewards the faithful so be faithful in whatever He has given you to carry or to bear. Remember that Praise is our Strength and Joy is our Shield. We can be happy in sorrow if we have Christ Jesus Within our very soul and open ourselves up so others can see Him.
______________________________________________
Update November 17, 2005
I was all set for a nice time of deer hunting with a friend that was kind enough to build a special hunting shelter for me and actually was able to spend the first two days in the shelter before the current round of events overtook me. As you already know from previous entries in my Testimony, I endure pain all of the time, some days are good, some are bad and some are, well I will just say very, Very unpleasant. The generator I wear to help control the severe pain quite suddenly and very unexpectedly stopped working on the afternoon of the 17th and the spasms which had been kept at bay by this wonder of science that was designed by someone blessed by the hand of God, attacked me full force.
I had been in an unusual amount of pain for the last couple of months and had begun to wonder if the machine was really working at all, that is until it stopped. At that point I discovered just how fantastic this marvel of science really works because when its pulsing waves ceased to function I was overwhelmed by pain I had not experienced since the receiver had been implanted inside me and the transmitter had sent its first soothing pulses through the antenna, into the receiver and out to the electrodes buried in the thoracic region of my spinal nerves.
Wave after horrible wave of pain swept over me and I tried to concentrate on Christ and on His Presence but soon I was lost in the terrible agony of throbbing damaged nerves and once again began to question “Why?”
The pain was up and down over the next couple of weeks as arrangements were made to see the doctors and meetings with Medtronic personnel took place. They sent me a new transmitter because that is the easiest thing to check first because the only way to check the system itself is to cut me open and hook the test leads to the system which is buried inside of my body. When the machine came I hooked it up with great anticipation and as I ran the power up to the levels which break up the spasms which ravage my body, nothing happened except a very disappointed exhale from me and tears of pain rolling down my face.
Two days after the machine came and failed I met with the main representative of Medtronic in my area and the surgeon which had installed the first system inside of me. The date for the surgery to “rewire me” was set for the following Tuesday and I spent a horrid weekend waiting for the unknown and doing my best to stay focused on the things of Christ and also doing my best to remember that He is always in charge.
A couple of the days were not too bad which were gifts from my Merciful Savior then as the day of the surgery came I went very expectantly to the hospital for the surgery which could very well kill me “which for me would have been Great”, which could leave me crippled and in even more pain or could fix the technology which resides within me.
I was prepared for a 2 to as much as 3 or even 4 hour surgical procedure to fix and/or replace the system in me. There is only 1 of the special receivers since I am a test subject and if that were to prove to be bad it would be a devastating blow to the trials and to me and would mean that a very temporary system would have to be installed until another one could be made…
The connector which is used to connect the electrodes to the wiring inside of me is the same connector that has been used from the beginning of medical implants which include pacemakers. Not a single one of these connections had ever gone bad, or had ever corroded or lost contact so of course they knew that could not be the problem.
However, they discovered what so many doctors have found out about me, if there is something that can go wrong that isn’t supposed to, it will happen to me.
The surgical team took apart the connection in my spine and hooked in the test leads and the machine showed that everything was okay. Further examination showed that the connection had corroded and that one of the leads had lost contact which in turn caused the machine to stop working. This was Fantastic News because I could keep the same machine and the surgery only lasted about an hour. When the connection was re-established and the power flowed through the machine and into the electrodes, the spasm I was having which was causing terrible pain suddenly was pulsed away.
God is Good and I am still alive to write the words He gives me to write. I do not know what my future holds but I do know that I will serve Him no matter what and no matter the amount of pain I am called to go through. Jesus is worth any and everything we can experience and if we are to be witnesses for Him we must be willing to at times take the heat and suffer so the world can see that we can serve God no matter what and that God does indeed take care of us if we will just allow Him to do so.
______________________________________________
Testimony Update 2-11-06
The technological wonder inside me failed again and the pain which mere words cannot describe once again gripped me in its horrible claws. I waited a few days as I tried several different ways to get the machine working again but upon examination with a baby monitor receiver I discovered that the very same connection they had recently fixed had failed again. The baby monitor receiver picks up the signal which the transmitter sends to the receiver inside of me and I can trace the pulse. The transmitter was working fine and the signal was being picked up and relayed by the internal receiver to the connection in my thoracic spinal nerves which is then supposed to pass it on to the electrodes. The signal stopped at the connection mere inches from the electrodes where the pulse breaks up and melts away the horrible spasms.
My wife whom has stuck with me through all of the horrendous experiences in my life once again contacted Matrix Pain Clinic who in turn contacted Medtronic. I expected a long wait and even possibly the news that there was nothing further they could do but on February 7th I was on the operating table once again and spent almost three hours being 'rewired' and fitted with a new state of the art system.
This new system is completely internal and rechargeable from the outside by the same means which powered the system they removed but with a twist. The recharging device which I will receive when I go back to Matrix on Feb. 14th is made up of 2 parts. The first part is a plug-in re-charger which charges a portable recharging unit that I can carry with me. The batteries inside me are supposed to last 3-6 weeks before needing to be recharged and when they do I simply put the belt which holds the external re-charger around me, over the internal batteries and in a few hours I am set for another 3-6 weeks. I am told that if I forget to recharge the re-charger I will be able to hook it up to the main charging unit and wear it. It will be recharged and it will recharge the internal batteries at the same time. God has given such wonderful knowledge to those who will use it for the good of mankind.
Quite a lot happened during the time I was on the table and the greatest is that I am once again able to endure the pain because of the new technology God arranged. It is only by the Grace of God and the fact I have a doctor that is open to the voice of God that the device is up and running. Scar tissue would not allow the new electrodes through to where they needed to be and during the procedure the doctor received Inspiration from God for another way to get them in place. I have to be awake during the entire procedure so they can ask me questions and so I can talk them through different things; such as whether to move the electrodes left or right, up or down, stuff like that. I hear all kinds of stuff, even the desperation and fear in voices when at times things do not go as planned and also wonderment as 'new ideas' are implanted from above in the mind of a doctor open to the leading of the Spirit of God.
I do not know why the Lord has chosen me for a ministry of suffering but I have seen some wondrous things because of it. People that have been around me during some of the worst times of pain, nurses, doctors, other patients and their visitors have looked on in amazement to see and hear the suffering I go through and then hear me Praise the Lord and/or see me witness to and/or pray for someone else who is sick and suffering. This has opened the door to people that would and could not have been reached by any other means.
I have been asked, "How can you praise God when you are in such torment?" and the look on their faces are always of wonder and amazement when I reply, "How can I Not Praise Him?" This reply is usually gasped out of me as I struggle for breath while the spasm tries to tear me apart and then I can tell them about Christ Jesus and the wonderful things He has done for me down through the years and how things could always be worse.
I try not to question myself but I have to admit that at times I do ask Him why, even though I already know the answer. People think that I am brave or strong and such when in reality I am just trying to keep from screaming most of the time. I have learned that it does not do any good to curse God, if I Praise Him instead I can feel His Holy Touch and the suffering somehow becomes meaningless as I bask in His Glorious Presence. The Scripture states that He inhabits our Praise and I have found this to be so true.
I have seen other people healed that I have prayed for during some of the times that I was hurting the worst and that makes everything worthwhile. I have heard other patients accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior because they have heard me Praise Him during my greatest pain. I have seen hard hearted nurses become tenderhearted and have heard them pray maybe either again, or for the first time in their lives and all of these things make it worth every pain I have ever felt.
I am grateful for the technology that has helped me, especially when I learned that it is because of the trials I have gone through with the early devices that has been responsible for the way the new machines are designed. So many people are being helped now by the devices that have been improved for me and because of my suffering they have learned new ways to help others who hurt even worse than I do.
I continue to Trust God and to write for Him and will do so as long as I have life in me, No Matter What! In His Mercy He continues to give me the words to write and the strength to continue onward for Him. My Own strength was gone a long time ago and I function solely by the Grace of God through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My pain is not gone but merely masked at times by technology as the spasms try to get through the electronic barrier. I pray for strength and ask that all of you pray for each other as well as for me. It is so very important that you understand that we gather strength from each other but even more so by praying for someone else. By placing Others before the Throne of Grace we become the conduit through which they are blessed and healed and as the conduit the Power of God will flow through us to get to the one for whom we are praying.
Stay Strong in Christ Jesus and in His Mercy and Grace. I Pray for everyone that will read this and though I do not know who you are and what your need is, God Knows you.
Your Fellow Servant In the Eternal Holiness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ The King.
______________________________________________
Testimony Update 6-25-06
I am struggling again with the old problems that began the ordeal of recent years, the heart pain and the pressure which has always indicated blockages. I am reluctant to go to the hospital because I know that they will want to take a look-see and I do not want another heart catheter, I didn't want number 16 and I certainly don't want number 17 so I keep going forward one day at a time praying that I will not have to go through it all again.
On the bright side the nerve damage pain is finally beginning to stabilize as the new internal machine slowly takes more and more of the load. I used to have to run 8 to 10 amps of power for any relief and now I am down to 4 amps without a rise in the medications. My goal is to someday as God brings healing to me; get off all of the pain medications I have to take and to only have the internal generator to control the pain. It would be perfect if God were to heal me completely of the nerve damage but I do not know if He is going to do that and I am willing to go through life with what ever limitations or strengths He has for me.
I continue to suffer but regardless of the pain I do my best to show Christ to as many souls as I can through the wonder of the Internet. I am far from perfect and make my share of mistakes. However, through it all I continue to be the very best witness I can be for Him in the lot I have been given;
How about you?
______________________________________________
Testimony Update 12-18-06
I write this with joy and sadness; joy because tomorrow I am getting a new Granddaughter from my oldest daughter, sadness because one or more of the electrodes the doctor placed in my back to transmit signals to help with the pain have either moved, stopped working or scar tissue has formed and is blocking the signal and one or more has moved where it is not supposed to be and is working against me.
I had to turn the power down to 3.6 amps because the electrodes that moved was causing pain in areas that they were not intended to affect and the areas that was receiving relief are not receiving the amount they were. I fear more procedures because the pain is so bad and I know what I will face when the machine is shut down if another surgery is preformed. I do not fear death for to die would be to stand in the presence of my Lord and Savior whom I long so much to see. I dread leaving this life though before my journey is over because I do not want to lose even a single soul that might be won to Christ if my journey is not completed as designed.
Stand strong in Christ Jesus and Keep the Faith Brothers and Sisters, do not fall prey to the many temptations in the world today and do not be afraid to stand up for Christ Jesus and for your fellow Believers. Take a stand against what you know to be wrong and stand together against the sin that has found its way into the very body of Christ; into the Church itself.
I look forward to meeting each and every one of you someday as we gather around the Throne of God and we are greeted by Christ Jesus in person as we gather for the greatest party and meal that will ever happen; the Marriage Supper of The Lamb!
______________________________________________
Testimony Update 1-8-2008
Time has flown by since the last entry and I have not been back in the hospital, Thank God, but the time has not been easy. I have had my ups and my down's but all the while I have been in constant pain as the stimulator fights to control the pain and the medications attempt to help where it fails. Some days have been spent in oblivion as I lay in restless fevered sleep needing to go to the hospital but to stubborn to go. I guess mainly fearing I would be hurt again as I have been so badly in the past.
Sometimes it is hard to retain my hold on the present and I find myself slipping into depression until I hear that small still voice which is always present. The Spirit of the Living God resides within me as He does within everyone who has accepted Jesus as Lord, Savior and King. I find solace in His Holy Presence and He keeps me going even when I get wrapped up in everything and ignorantly forget to remember Him and what I am supposed to be doing.
I keep plugging along the path towards what ever lies in my future and I know Jesus is waiting for me on the other side when the time comes for me to cross the river of death for the final time. I strive to keep hold of His hand inside my heart, inside that part of us where the Holy Spirit resides and keeps watch over us. Though He always knows what is best for us, for me; He never presses us to do anything we do not want to for we must be willing to make the choice for everything we do.
I choose to work for Christ Jesus that I might be in a position to catch some of the blessing which flows from the Father to His Son and from Christ Jesus down to those which willingly choose to follow wherever He leads us to go. Never give up and never give in to temptation for anything you experience; no matter how painful if it is. I have learned how the Christians of old and some in this present world were and are able to face death for Christ Jesus because in the pain I have endured I have learned that Jesus is Always there with me.
I never believed in a Ministry of suffering before all of this started for me but I have been allowed to experience so many Wonderful things and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that some of us are called to suffer that in our suffering and remaining faithful others might learn. I am nothing special, in fact in the realm of life I am less than nothing; but for some reason God chose me and considered me worthy to serve Him in this arena of sacrifice that others might be drawn to Christ.
If I could change anything the only thing it would be is the wasted years I ran from God as I made excuses. The only exception to that would be unless changing that would prevent those I have been able to lead to Christ Jesus through the pain I have experienced and during my Praising Him at those times people came to the One who carried me through death itself. If their conversions would be affected I would have to say then that I would change nothing and go through it all again for the sake of even a single soul.
Keep serving God through Christ Jesus to the best of your ability and never cease reading His Holy Word and learning everything you can learn. As long as you have life and breath you have opportunity to reach others for Christ Jesus. Remember this if nothing else. JESUS CHRIST IS LORD OF ALL, BUT, HAVE YOU MADE HIM LORD OF YOUR LIFE? The answer to that is the only difference between Eternal Life and Eternal Death; Pass the Good News of Life through the Holy Blood of Christ Jesus!
Those of you that have followed this from the beginning please continue to pray for me and those of you that may be reading this for the first time I ask for your prayers too. It is becoming continually harder to write because the pain is drawing more and more of my mental resources to help fight it. I do not want to go into surgery again but if another electrode moves or more scar tissue forms they are going to have to do something.
The pain from the surgery on the electrodes is unbearable because the machine has to be turned off and I have to be kept awake so I can tell them if the electrodes are working or not. With the machine working 100% the pain level is at a 5 on their scale of 1 – 10 even with the pain medications. Without the machine working the pain is off the scale and bad enough to create spasms that have in the past broken my ribs. Right now the pain is running at an average of 7+, sometimes worse and rarely better so I fear I may be under the knife again sooner than I want to.
Please do not forget to remember me in prayer, not so much as for the pain bit that I might be a faithful servant of Christ Jesus and be able to write as I have been called to do for the sake of souls.
I pray the Blessing of God upon all reading this who is striving to serve Jesus to the best of your abilities. To everyone reading this that are not serving God through Christ Jesus at all or to the best of your abilities; I pray the Holy Spirit of the Living God will descend upon you and not give you a seconds rest until you turn your life completely over to Him. God Speed to the Servants of the Most High through Christ Jesus…
______________________________________________
Testimony Update 3-27-2008
Today is a normal day for me other than the trip I had to take to Matrix Pain Clinic which is a monthly thing. Part of the ritual I go through is to change a patch every other day that helps the machine control the pain from the damaged nerves when the doctor nicked my sciatic nerve.
The situation with the electrodes has progressed and I have had to turn the machine down to 2 amps which of course lessons the relief I get from it to control the pain. I fear going under the knife again and am putting it off as long as I possibly can. I wish I could say everything has been peachy since my last entry but it hasn't been.
I am finding it harder and harder to concentrate because of the pain and the problems from the closed head injury which are still very much a part of me. I will not give up though and even though I find it hard to write as much as I did, I still edit my websites for Christ and put the seed of Eternal Life on the WWW for surfers to find.
I will never know how many souls have been gathered to Christ Jesus until I someday stand before Him and I am looking forward to that day when I can leave this pain wracked old body behind. To walk those streets of Gold with the Saints both new and old; to see my King there Face to Face and Thank Him for such Holy Grace.
Those of you that visit here and have been keeping up with my journey, I wish you Peace, Joy and true Happiness in Christ Jesus. Those of you which may have found this site for the first time, I wish the same if you have found Christ Jesus and Know Him as Lord and Savior.
If you haven't, I know you cannot have Real Peace, Real Joy or Real Happiness until you do; so why not, right now ask Jesus to forgive you for all your sins and to enter into your heart and become Lord of you life.
______________________________________________
Testimony Update 7-24-2009
I am still hanging in here, doing what I can for the Kingdom of God. My life is about the same but thank the Lord the pain is not quite as bad as it was for a while. It comes and goes without warning and if I am standing up when a spasm hits me, I usually wind up hitting the floor unless I manage to catch myself first. So many doors have been opened when relating to others about the things I experience, especially during a trip to one of my doctors and the Pain Clinic when I talk to others who are living in pain. Some people are so bitter about having pain and some of them do nothing but curse God for it. Quite a few times that in itself has opened a door to talking to them about Christ Jesus when I relate to them my experiences and most of the time they discover their pain is far less than what I live with. The mere ability to Praise the Lord during hard times have reached so many and I Pray they hold tightly unto Christ Jesus and remember that it is not He nor His Father who is causing them to hurt and cursing God does nothing to ease their pain. Once introduced to Christ and they accept Him as Lord and Savior, they discover a New Strength and a New Voice as they learn that Praising God aides in easing their pain just by the fact that the strength they once were using to curse Him is being used to Glorify the King of Kings and the warmth of kinship to the Father through Christ Jesus is enough to bring Joy Unspeakable and Glory Beyond Measure.
I will add more at a later date and Lord Willing it will not be as long between entries next time and times after.
Are YOU Ready to meet Jesus if the Father were to give the order to the Angel to Blow the Trumpet which shall Sound the Call to End the Age of Grace? Where will you be after the confusion here on earth has sort of settled once MILLIONS Disappear in an instant? Will you be taken with the Redeemed or will you be Left Behind?
Only the Blood of Jesus is able to prepare you for the time of the Trumpet. Everyone who accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior and follows His Commands in the Scripture will hear the Trumpet of the Lord when it sounds its Glorious Note of Eternal Praise! Everyone who has previously died as Believers shall be reunited with their bodies which shall in less than an Instant be Glorified as the dead in Christ receive their Glorified Bodies. Anyone still living which have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior and has kept themselves instructed in the Written Word of God shall be changed in an instant and shall leave this earth behind to meet Jesus in the air. What JOY shall prevail within the clouds as we are gathered unto our King, our Savior, our Lord and are led by Christ to meet Almighty God as the Redeemed Army of God.
Where shall you be and what shall you be doing when the dust has begun to settle upon that day? If you cannot answer that simple question you need to ask Jesus to forgive you from your sins and to be your Savior, Lord and King. Study the Written Word of God to discover what He wants you to do. Don't wait for someone to tell you because they might be a false leader and if you do not KNOW the Word of God you will never know if you are being led astray.
__________________________________________
9-24-2009
Another experience came my way on August 13 about 1:00 in the morning. Actually it began several days before that but that is when I actually couldn't stand the over abundance of pain and had my wife call an ambulance.
I don't remember how long it took for the ambulance to arrive but by the time it did I felt myself slipping towards the same place I have been twice before as I crossed over into the realm of the 'Non-Living'. I don't want to use the term dead because I have discovered (in my own experience and opinion) that there is a place between this life and what is really death. Many have been there and have seen, felt and even heard various things which have either scared them, awed them or have left them wondering what happened as they were allowed to step back into the reality of this world.
My experience actually started about a week before the morning of the 13th as I was helping a friend who was helping me work on our car. Having the Implant and the Electrodes in my body helps control the tremendous amount of pain I endure but they also keep me from doing some things most everyone take for granted. I can't drive because of the position I would have to set in because the Electrodes would have pressure on them and shock me causing involuntary muscle movement which could cause the car to swerve into oncoming traffic. I can't reach out in a normal forward or upward direction nor can I lay on my left side which is why I cannot do work on our car alone. There are many other things I cannot do but the relief I get from the pain far out weighs the things I can't do and I gratefully live with the limitations for without the newest implant I couldn't even hold my grandchildren: a most precious trade.
I told you about the limitations merely so you could understand the process that happened that evening. My friend has a big problem breathing; in fact as I am writing this he is in a hospital fighting his own battle for life but I know he will win in the end for I have heard him confess that Jesus Is Lord and know he Believes in Jesus as his Lord and Savior. I am not yet physically strong enough to go to the hospital to visit him so his family is keeping us up to date on his condition. It is hard for me to just set here and write while he is suffering but if the Lord allows him to come through this and stay in this life I know he will be a fruitful witness for Christ and have a better understanding of Gods Mercy and Grace.
(Back to the car incident) We were trying to get the left front wheel bearing hub assembly off of a Grand Prix and it would not budge. In the past I would have just muscled it off with a pry bar but now I cannot do those things unless someone’s life depends on it. Little did I know that is exactly what it would come to because my friend suddenly could not breathe and I had a doctors appointment the next day. He regained his composure but his breathing was labored and knowing he was about to hurt himself working on our car I grabbed the big hammer, my chisel and took over working on getting the hub assembly off. It took about half an hour of going around the hub using the chisel to loosen it, all the while praying for my friend as well as asking the Lord for the strength to get the car fixed. To shorten the story I will say that the hub came off and I was able to get the new one on but during the reassembly process I had two spasms and as the second one tore at me I heard an audible "POP" from the right side of my chest. I didn't feel any discomfort other than the spasm so I didn't think anything about it other than maybe my shoulder popped as it has done in the past at times.
The next day while on the way to the appointment the front tire came lose so I had to get out and tighten the lug nuts and remembered the same thing happening once years back because I didn't make sure that the wheel was positioned correctly and as we moved and hit bumps it just came loose and Thank the Lord it didn't come off! That night after finishing the doctors appointment we stopped at the grocery store and when we got home I carried the groceries in to keep my wife from having to carry too much. As I lifted the bags to the counter I felt a pull in my right side and suddenly could not breathe.
My wife took me to Caro Hospital on Saturday night where they took a couple of x-rays and told us it was just a couple of bruised ribs and to go home and put ice on it for a couple of days so following the doctors orders we did.
August 13 about 1:00 in the morning as I said in the beginning of this update I had my wife call 911. She told them what she knew and about my past history of heart problems so they dispatched an ambulance and the Paramedic. They got me into the ambulance and the Paramedic who had many times before started IV's in me could not get one started for every time he got the needle in a vein, the vein would collapse. He had the ambulance driver stop in Richville and he tried one more time and when the same thing happened, for the first time in many meetings like that I saw fear on his face. He hollered to the driver to "Hammer It" then he held me in place as the ambulance raced towards Saginaw and the hospital.
I remember entering the emergency room and a female voice telling them that I had to be moved to a different room because this one was not equipped to deal with my problem so the lights went past my eyes as I was rushed from one cubicle to one which I believe was across from the main desk. A flurry of commotion followed and until I woke up several days later I remembered nothing more from the emergency room. As I searched the room with my eyes after waking up, I discovered I was once again on Life Support.
I heard the same female voice I had heard in the emergence room and turned my head towards her. She explained to me that she was a Nurse Practitioner and was the person which had worked on me and had guided the team that saved my life. I was told that my right lung had collapsed and that it was full of a very bad infection, one which they were trying to identify. I was cared for so gently as I laid there while several kind of antibiotics were flowing into me from several IV ports. As I write this I still have a Pic Line in me, placed there to receive more antibiotics after being sent to a Facility for Physical Therapy. The Facility is just outside of Mayville and cares for anyone in need of care whether they are young or old and have many residents that are being cared for while they are even now nearing the end of their earthly existence.
I was treated great while I was there as well and spent three weeks or so regaining my strength before coming home.
What is your Spiritual Condition? If you were to die right now, this very second do you know what would happen to your immortal soul? One thing most people do not realize is that everyone is going to live forever and it is the choice we make while living that determines where that will be.
Jesus is the GIFT from God who laid down His own life so YOU, so I can Live Forever with Him and His Father in Joy and Blissful Peace. To not choose Christ Jesus as Lord and Savior is to Reject Him and will cause a person to stand at the Left Hand of the Father at the Great White Throne Judgment Seat. All who stand there are cast into the Lake of Fire with Lucifer, the False Prophet and the Beast as well as all who have rejected Jesus' Gift of Eternal Life with Him in Glory. Read the Scriptures and find out for yourself before it is too late. All Believers in Jesus who have accepted Him as Lord and Savior shall live with Him forever and the unbelievers who have Rejected Jesus as Lord and Savior will spend Eternity with their chosen leader in the Lake of Fire; NOW is the Time to Decide whether you serve Jesus or whether you do not. There is no in between and there will not be any second chances once the Father has declared time to be at its end, CHOOSE NOW!
__________________________________________
10-12-2009
The many areas where I was poked with needles and was cut into for various things are now pretty much healed up. I can now actually draw deep breaths again and the coughing no longer brings up the residue from the lung infection. God has brought me through so many things in my life and I am grateful beyond words. I hope and pray those of you that have read my testimony and the others writings I have been given have been blessed by the words of wisdom. Stay close to God in Christ Jesus and give your time and if possible your finances to help those who have little or nothing. Spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the lost so they will receive the gift of eternal life and that you in the preaching will receive a special blessing from God.
Stay close to Christ in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to use you for the Glory of the Father and you will receive blessings beyond your hearts desire. Do not preach for the reward but for the chance of serving Christ Jesus.
Until I am able to write again stay faithful to Christ Jesus and know your faith shall blossom into Eternal Life.
__________________________________________
7-7-2010
The Year of our Lord Two Hundred Thousand and Ten; who would have ever thought it possible that the world would still be surviving all of these many years after our Lord and Savior was killed by Lucifer and his incompetent forces to prevent the plans of Almighty God from succeeding? Just think what might have happened if Lucifer was nearly as bright as he perceives himself to be? Well nothing really for God is in Charge no matter what that wanna be god thinks about himself for in all, during all and After All: Jesus Is Lord Of ALL!
It has been quite a ride for me since the last time I was able to write and though I have been up hills, down hills and almost under a hill I prevail to write for the cause of the Kingdom of the Living God.
I still have many problems with the nerve damage pain and have problems breathing, especially when the weather gets hot and humid but God remains Faithful in all things and provides all of the needs of anyone that will Believe His Word and stand ready to speak out in Faith and lead His standard into the foray which takes a stand against the Truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am constantly pounded by those unbelievers who follow the banner of "Why Cause Trouble, it will work out in the end won't it?" I was raised by a farmer who after serving time in the Army spent 33+ years working at General Motors in Flint, MI. He had an 8th grade education but was very wise in the ways of the world but more so in the Spirit of God. He taught me to always question everything I didn't understand and especially question those doing the explaining if they could not explain it to my satisfaction. In other words I am not a trouble maker by Choice, I was Created to Question Everything that did not align with the Gospel of Jesus Christ and then enact Changes if they were not quickly forthcoming.
Unfortunately for me I was taken out of the game early by a steel bar which crushed my brain stem; as you will have noticed earlier in My Testimony but I have deduced in later years I believe this was part of Gods Plan so I would have to learn to rely COMPLETELY ON HIM!
Until next time I am able to write, remember to keep yourself focused on Christ so closely you will be able to see the Father through Him. That is His Goal and our goal needs to be that people see Christ Jesus when they look at us and if they look hard enough, they will see the Father. It is only then that we are living the life of a Christian as Jesus designed for us.
As I leave answer me this one question. "If you were to hear your child (any or all of them) speaking to another child the way you speak to the people you meet every day; What words would be coming from their mouths?"
Children are Sponges that Emulate (Soak up and Squeeze Out) Everything they Hear and See Us Do.
Maybe we need to wring ourselves out completely then allow the Goodness, Love and the Grace of God refill us. This way if nothing else, we can create a better World for them and their Children.
*I Live in Pain that others might know the Mercy of Christ Jesus, that the Holiness of the Father might be theirs through the Holy Spirit.*
__________________________________________
Testimony Update 10-6-2011
May 30, 2011 I was transported to the Hospital once again but did not know anything about it until I awakened three days later. I spent a couple of weeks or so while they were trying to discover just what happened. Hundreds of Prayer Warriors were lifting me up before the Throne of the Living God; the estimate of doctors early on that I might not make it were once again changed by the Power of Prayer.
I received my 17th Heart catheter during which they determined that 6 of my 7 Stents were open and that one had a small buildup which they took care of while they were inside of me and through the dye test discovered a (Minute amount of heart damage) and decided that my diagnosed COPD had caused a Heart Attack.
I still have no memory of what transpired at home which was the reason my family called an ambulance. I have been told that it is a good thing that I cannot remember and that makes me a wee bit nervous and curious as to what did happen. My wife has told me some of what happened and I cannot remember any of it. She said when the ambulance arrived they didn't do the battery of tests they usually preform because when they took my blood pressure, they immediately hurried me into the ambulance and sped away. I was taken to the closest hospital where they ran a battery of tests then transported to a bigger and better equipped hospital; three days later I opened my eyes not knowing where I was.
A Nurse asked me if I know where I was and after looking around I told her "Some kind of Hospital." When she asked me if I knew my name and where I lived, I reached for my shirt pocket where I keep all of my information and I had no Shirt and no Pocket; as a Closed Head Injury Patient I rely on that information and without it I have no memory.
This is one of the Miracles of my Ministry; everything I write in the battle for the Lost and Dieing Souls without Christ Jesus, comes from the Spirit of the Living God for that steel bar removed my ability to do anything on my own and I MUST Rely on Christ Jesus for the ability to do even the simplest things.
I never seemed to learn how to let go and to let God work through me; now many years later after experiencing so many things I know that I was being taught that we can do NOTHING On Our Own, for it is Only through the Power of Almighty God by the Power of His Holy Spirit that we are allowed even the simplest things in our perspective. However, things which ofter appear to be mundane and "Simple" Tasks to us, are most often the Powerful and Mighty Deeds which when preformed through a Willing and Contrite Believer Heart, that become the Power behind some of the mightiest Deeds and Seeds through which the Gospel of Jesus Christ can Flourishes and Grows in the Hearts, Minds and Souls of all around.
Be Willing to do and become whatever you are called to be and do: Remember, it is through our Faith and our Willingness to do whatever is needed by which the "Church" is empowered.
*I Live in Pain that others might know the Mercy of Christ Jesus, that the Holiness of the Father might be theirs through the Holy Spirit.*
More to Follow
VIEW ALL BIOGRAPHIES
|
Indicates an included photo
