Well it's always something — if it ain't one thing; it's another.
Now I am stuck in my childhood home in Falls Church. It is almost like being in New Jersey or its equivalent Staten Island.
Fortunately, I fled my childhood home in Falls Church at age 18, and it didn’t suck me back in until some forty-six years later.
It all started in college when I met my wife to be. I knew it was going to make me sick, but I didn’t realize how long it would take.
So how did I get here? We (that's the wife and me) were on a Virgin Airline flight coming back from New Zealand, and out of nowhere, she popped the big question: Tom, where have I moved for you? Stupidly I answered the question. Charlottesville, New York City, Garden City, NY and Roanoke, Va.
Then the follow up from the wife. Oh Tom, where are you moving for me? Well the only other home I had an interest in was my childhood home in Falls Church. So I stupidly said, Falls Church. And I was had.
She moved into my childhood home straight from Dulles Airport. Meanwhile, I went back to Roanoke confident she would never get a job, or if she got one, she’d hate it and quit.
Unfortunately, she got the job and loved it. And the next thing I knew, I was tied up and thrown in the back of a moving van. But after two years in cuffs in my childhood cellar, I am now allowed out.
I am so sick I don’t know what to do. I am back in Falls Church, depressed, my hair is falling out or the wife is using tweezers to pull it out at night. And all my childhood friends moved away. I thought I was going to die.
I’s so down in the dumps I might come to this darn reunion trying to remind me how dang old I am.
So to put it simply, after Hokie High, I went to Wahoo Land, next to NYC to be an ADA, then to Gov. Carey’s old law firm, then to Roanoke to save ½ of everything I owned.
Life went ok and I though it had worked out fine until the recent kidnapping.
But I am still working as a lawyer. And I've had pretty good luck at winning RICO (Racketeering Influenced Corrupt Organization Act) civil cases against cheating businessmen and their conspiring companies.
So the odds are my wife won’t divorce me now. And somewhere between Long Island and Roanoke, we had 2 daughters. If they weren’t a lot prettier than me -- but with some similar facial characteristics--, I’d swear they were someone else’s.
I guess I am now an elder attorney, referring to age.
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